I wake up to you wrapped around me warm and pliant with sleep. Your breath is hot and wet on my shoulder and my heart is breaking. So this is goodbye. Turning to face you shouldn’t hurt this bad. My hands on your face, and I brush kisses over every part. Your nose, your eyes, your cheekbones. Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. Your fingers tighten on my hips but I know that you can’t hold on. This is us, maybe for the last time, soft and drowsy, thigh to thigh and hip to hip.
Last night was about holding on, your lower lip trapped between my teeth, and a bruise beneath you collarbone. Last night was fierce and desperate, and staystaystay. Last night were the last tears I had left to shed. Last night was sweat slick bodies slipping against one another and sliding away in desperation. This morning is about connection and affection between the crumpled sheets where our scents mingle.
I’ve promised not to wait for you. I didn’t lie, I didn’t need to. Waiting is moot. I will never find anyone else because you have ruined me for all mankind. After you everyone seems flat and colorless, like they’re not really there. I will never drink my fill of you, not even if we had all of eternity, but even if I never see you again I will be content. I’ve found my one.
My lips on your jaw, my lashes on your face, my legs, my hips, my fingertips, they all say the same things to you. Be safe, be happy, do great things, come back to me. But most of all they say, God I’m going to miss you. I hold you tight to me and ignore the whispers that say this is the last time.