Secret by Quamar Al-Mumin

Come here and let me whisper in your ear, the same way that I used to. Compared to all my deepest secrets, you were an abyss. A secret that seemed to never end, and to be honest, I didn’t want it to end. Because having you as a secret made you mine. And it was nice, knowing that nobody knew but me and you. 

But then, it grew heavy, too heavy for just the both of us to carry. You said it was a burden, I thought it gave us wings. You grew distant and with that you took my heart as well. My heart, my mind, my sanity and my secret left me to be with you.

I’d sit alone, in the dark, my face in my hands, my hands on my knees, my knees to my chest, the tears refusing to flow. They kept their own secrets; they didn’t want me to know. They’ve been coming up with a plan. A plan to meet the corners of my lips, but they didn’t want me to feel them. They didn’t want to leave my eyes like you did. They didn’t want to fade off of my lips, never to be returned like you did.

It weight became unbearable, with every day I can feel you forgetting me. I can feel the secret leaving you, running away from your forgetful mind and joining mine. My tears gave up on their hidden plan; they crawled helplessly down my cheeks. Traitors. How could they leave me as well? Do they not miss the warmth of my eyes? Or have my eyes gone cold..?

Slowly, little by little I decided I couldn’t keep it any longer. Forgive me, but I had to share it. I gave a little bit of it to my friends, who held it close to their hearts and offered guidance and support. I gave a lot of it to curious strangers, never to be spoken to again, and even travelers, who took our secret to far off lands. It was happier being spread out, it made new homes in the hearts and minds of others. It taught them lessons, never to make the mistake that we did.

The very last part of my secret left my eyes through tears that fell onto my mother’s lap. As she held me close she squeezed every last drop of it that I had left.

It was as if the air that entered my lungs had been filtered when the secret left me. Sweet, sensational freedom of my subconscious mind.

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