“But Daddy I Love Him” by Kamanha

I walked the dirty road I formed since my shameful birth

I kept losing bits and pieces of who I am until I completely lost myself

And if I wasn’t deaf I’d live on listening to the destiny’s wind’s wisp

It has a lisp because the wind’s tongue is so hot burning me to crisp 

I detest the fact that I’m messed cursed and blessed when I lost what I bargained

An enlightened clever boy running a fool’s errand stricken by a deadend beyond blackened

Burdened by the devil’s well-worded wicked harangue and lyrically beckoned

Livin in a world, a whirlwind of mass massacres sheltered by fear, frown upon and frightened

That evil force was poured in a newborn that took form of a twin-horned man in black

With a voice similar to my own he said “So you’re the vessel and my home. We haven’t met since way back”

What the hell am I seeing? Who the hell is he and is my head still in tact?

He said “I’m the true you and we grew blue with every view we review from the past and in fact…

I’ll tell no lies I’m not the guy who drives your hand when it writes on a page

But, I’m the words that fathom and rise when you decide to fight the lonely cold nights of your age

I’m the rage you cage, the mage that hates to be defeated in the internal wars you wage

The rampage that gets your pain assuaged and your head deranged while you’re engaged to stay disengaged”

Then I thought to myself “I gave up to hate. It was too late to close that gate” so I made my mind

I willingly took the bait, he turned his face and walked away “Hey wait” I said “Let’s rewind

And go back in time where your hate was mine and my fate was yours”…He replied “I decline”

The farther he went the more weight I detest to placed on my chest… He smiled and led me to places no soul can find

And then another voice whispers “Don’t follow him, son… I’m here to save you!”

Dad? Is that you? Aren’t you the one who threw mom out when she was pregnant with me. So, save who???

Dad, you do realize that mom stayed on the streets while the merciless cold wind blew?

The truth, I was a cursed pot of blame for something I didn’t do, it was because of you and you died 21 years ago…so don’t speak, you have no right to

And grow up, dad. Because with or without you I grew

I was born broken-hearted and was handed a shit deal, but screw!

That man I follow is the hallow of my downfall. He’s my devil, I knew

But, daddy I love him… And god forbids… He loves me too.

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