“But Daddy I Love Him” by Salman AlKhaledi

“OK Bye. I hope you can survive the weekend all by yourself.”

“Oh don’t worry about me now, I am going to kick back and be myself the whole weekend!”

Oh child! Finally I am all alone, girl, I’ve been waiting the whole month for those rascals to get out of my hair. I need to wash it clean and blow dry those luscious curls, maybe even get that cement out from under my nails. Girlfriends were all tripping on me all night in our last gathering, telling me i’m all busted and crusted, polishing those tips would be HEAVEN! Oh and I have got to do something about those pin point black dots, there’s a million of them!
Oh my goodness! would you feel that water? Honey child, I think the sting of the construction sight is dying in the delicious bath soap I got from Lush, umhm, that lesbian knew what she was talking about. Girl, I thought lesbians are home depot oriented, but this lives to tell you, you shouldn’t be judging an issue of Vogue when that stinky-ass Rihanna is on it, she would be wearing some Oscar De La Renta, with a god damn new real human hair wear. Umhm, she will be all up in everybody’s business, nice weave Girlfriend! I would sell my own gorgeous body to get that weave.
Girl, you are one fine vixen, look at you! Even your reflection is jealous! Oh, some charming man is going to fall in L-O-V-E with Y-O-U! You are Cinderella, and he is your prince in shining Armani- Oh yes he is, or maybe even a warrior goddess! Oh yes! And he is your right hand in command! Ooh yes!
Oh but you know, uhm, see girl, you look like a fine Arabian princess, that’s right! In a palace far far away in the desert! Yes you honey bunch of oats! And that darling handsome man is the stable boy! Oh, where’s that Kimono?! There we go! Hmmm, Yes! Stable boy! They will be furious with me! Do I dare bring shame to the royal family? Do I dare defy my father?! Maybe he will kill him!
I will never let that happen! Never! I will jump on his body to protect him, I will yell and scream “Oh ¬†Daddy I love him! Please don’t break my fragile heart daddy!!”.
“… Khalid! Your evil son hid my cell phone in the kitchen again! I had to come all the way back from… why are you wearing my Kimono?”

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