Waves by Lucy Moore

Waves or An open letter to Nutella or 9 reasons I hate you, I love you, hate, love, hate, love you…

To my smooth, chocolaty friend

1 – The very sight of your jar can bring a smile to the most bitter of men but I know under that glossy exterior is a dark and sinister side to you 

2 – No matter how hard I try I can’t stay away from you, you’re my hearts friend yet the sworn enemy of my tummy

and 3 – I thought you were not good enough for me, however, you’re made of nuts which are brain food, milk to give me calcium and chocolate… derived from cocoa, which grows on a tree which kind of makes you like salad

4 -It has been 48 and a half minutes since we parted ways. And when they say absence makes the heart grow fonder they are not lying. Because I’m already craving to have you back in my sight. but I’ve seen you reduce grown men to a whimpering mess, when after finishing off a jar of you they’re left craving more

5 – You’re one part friend who listens to my problems, one part study buddy because for each page I allow myself a spoon and two parts evil diet foe

6 – I smother you on to freshly baked, buttery bread and you ooze into the cracks, dribble down my fingers and I shudder as waves of guilt, oh no wait that’s pleasure run through down my torso

7 – You are wickedly addictive, even the most unfaithful follow your heavenly cult and like a demigod we give you pride of place in our kitchen shrine

8 – You go with anything, pancakes, waffles, in pudding, on pudding, fruit, cookies, brookies, brownies. I can find you everywhere, I cannot escape you as your whore yourself around every desert menu in the country

9 – I could spread you anywhere which is proving difficult to explain when I’m out in public…

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