Color by Ahmed AlRasheed

I left the house in a hurry, speed walking to my charger. I got into my orange-based car and drove off hitting a parked car in the process. I then decided to hit and run because why stop now? Kaifi Kuwaiti. I was heading towards the gas station, I needed gas, something not a lot of hit and runners want to do after an incident. So I drove in and surpass the waiting lineand cut off a person who was about to fill up, Kaifi Kuwaiti. Don’t get me wrong; I really do have a legitimate excuse. I’m very late to my Starbucks gathering with my guy friends, and who wants to be late to Starbucks right? Anyway, I drove off the gas station paying the minimal fee; not tipping the gas guy because it’s his job. I get on the main road and start to tailgate, swerve on and off the road and high beam other drivers because they’re driving 80 on an 80km/hr road. This road is 80 you idiots but you should move out of my way because Kaifi Kuwaiti. I pull up next to a hot Indian girl in traffic, but she’s Indian, meh, next, and pull up next to this gorgeous Kuwaiti girl, hot sexy and obviously not my league, but I’ll do it anyways because Kaifi Kuwaiti. Oh didn’t I mention that I will block off the whole road just because I’m fulfilling my need, because yet again, Kaifi Kuwaiti.Finally I got to Starbucks, and boy am I lucky, two car spaces, perfect to hog both because I don’t want people to scratch my “bubala.” I got out of my car, orange watch, fluorescent orange t-shirt, jeans and orange shoes, and I fucking forgot my orange baseball hat, which bums me now because girls won’t look at my perfect outfit. I walk in flashing a crooked smile looking for my friends. I can at least notice some people looking at me, which is fine by me as long as that pretty girl in the corner studying is paying attention, I’ll be fine. “One cubbachino and a baniniblease.” I asked with my perfect accent and outstanding English skills. I kept staring at the pretty girl because she gave me the look of passion and love. I walk towards her with my tray and had to give her the punch line, “Hello, I just want to show this rose (gesturing to my whole body) how beautiful you are.” She ignored, so I persisted, “shda3wa, give us some face.” Trying to show her my advanced English and showing off my orange watch too. “Itha ma wa5art 3ani ba3almik shu’3lik” The next thing that happened could never change my life but change how I think about these McChicken girls, as soon as I said afaaa, she slammed the bottom of my tray with her hand face planting my face with the tray. She packed her stuff while I was yelling at her about how dumb and crazy she is while still drenched with cubbachino, she stood up looked at me in disgust and said, “Kaifi Kuwaitiya.”

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