Color by Merriam AlFuhaid

Dear Rania,

You are such a sweet girl! Thank you so much for your kind words.

I can’t say the contents of your letter were a complete surprise to me. I’ve had a feeling ever since that day last month when I told you you looked nice in blue. I’m not blind. I’ve noticed you haven’t worn any other color since then.

And, well, yours would not be the first letter of its kind I’ve received. I’ve grown to expect them because any time I’ve gotten close to a girl in the past she’s fallen for me like a tomato thrown off the Leaning Tower of Pisa. I should have been more careful knowing how irresistible I am to women, especially after I graduated with honors from Miss Pinkleton’s High Class Finishing School for Bright Young Gentlemen. (I’m telling you, that diploma is better than the fanciest car.) So, you musn’t be embarrassed by your feelings for me. There are at least fifteen other girls who currently feel the same way and have made it obvious through letters, poems, eye contact, and acting like they hate me, a transparent disguise that has become especially frequent since my time at MPHCFSBYG. They may have even started a support group to help deal with their love, but they are too shy to confirm its existence. I can give them your number if you like, though, because I’ve been pretty sure there is such a group ever since one admirer said any girl that liked me needed therapy.

Anyway. You need to know I never intended to lead you on. We never specifically said we were just friends, but it was implied and I didn’t think you would misunderstand. I thought you were smarter than that. Well, I was wrong, ha ha! But I want to do the right thing now, clear up any misunderstandings, and make everything right between us. I think we can come out of this as friends. I’ve been hiding you from most of my friends, but I know you’ll love them once you meet them. They are such a close-knit bunch. Based on how often they meet without inviting me, I suspect they too have a support group (alas, I make everyone feel insecure!) and I would forward you to the man who is most likely its leader, but he hasn’t been taking my calls.

Yes, Rania, I have high hopes for us. One day we may even be close enough for me to introduce you to my long-time girlfriend (have I mentioned her?), but you really need to get over me first, and the idea that someone like me could ever have feelings for someone like you. But you will find love, my dear, even if not with a man of my caliber. You’re nice, and, although by saying this I run the risk of giving you even more crazy ideas, I have to be honest: You have a nice chest. Why do you think I was spending time with you in the first place?

I know, however, that before you really get over me, I need to be responsible for my own actions and apologize. I am sorry. I should never have kissed you all those times or bought you those roses or held your hand under the table when we went out. I blame myself for the mess we’re in. Considering what a good judge of character I am, I should have realized right away you needed more careful treatment than a normal person.

Anyway. I might as well get to the point. In answer to your question, there is only so much I can say: No, I don’t love you. I thought you knew.

Love,

Jameel

 

P.S. For the sake of all the neglected clothes in your closet, I must tell you, you also look nice in red. 😉

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