I wait to be possessed
“My beloved, come take away the pain”
I can’t handle the hurt within me; I can’t take the sadness, or the melancholy.
My mind is unable to deal with these emotions. My heart is unable to handle them.
So I welcome my beloved’s arrival.
He gives me strength. He becomes me.
He uplifts the corners of my mouth that has been in a frown, turning it into his evil sneer.
He desiccates the tears in my eyes replacing my watery vision with hot white sparks of fury.
He unlocks the logical cage my visceral feelings are trapped in, and lets them loose.
I let him take control of me, ruining everything in my path.
The heat of his anger boils the blood in my veins, burning and evaporating the emotions that were eating away at my insides.
I know him so well by now. He has become my only solace.
But then, whatever strength i had funnels out of me. And as his rampage comes to an end, i collapse, and he leaves me.
“Please stay…” I beg, on knees that have buckled to the ground.
The condensations of the vaporized emotions fall like liquid acid on my heart.
The impact of each drop amplified, resonating within me.
The wild flames I see get extinguished by the cascade of tears that begin to fall irrepressibly.
I come to realize the burning mess of my life that he has caused, the hurt expressions on faces that I love.
He is anger…..he is rage ….he is fury.
Anger possesses me, rage destructs me, and then fury leaves me…
Still, I yearn for him to come back and make me forget the ever present aching.
For at the end, it is so much easier to be consumed by rage than to be destroyed by heartbreak.