“What happened?” I asked. “You’ve been hit by a camel, Mr. Rauch. But you seem to be fine. I have checked your vitals and it seems like you have recovered extraordinarily fast.”
What they didn’t know was that the camel was an outer space alien, seeking the right noble one to perform good deeds, you know, superhero stuff. The camel had special licking powers that sent in enzymes to coat the inner organs and speed up self-recovery. My body changed from fat and flaccid to athletic and muscular. I also feel energetic, virtuous and alive. Ansar, my butler, picked me up from the hospital with the Rolls Royce. I got home, and Ansar had already prepared a feast for my return which included; chai, eggs and tomatoes, lebnah and jreesh. Ansar has been taking care of me since the tragic death of my parents, I trust his taste in food.
Numerous hours later, I considered what had happened to me. It’s the day of the accident; everything is coming back to me in a blur. I remember a camel, I heard a little girl yell “help!” and somehow Mufasa’s voice was saying, “you’re the chosen one.” It seemed like I’m supposed to have a purpose, but what is it? Days passed and I noticed that I could jump higher than an average human being, by two kilometers! How did I figure that out? Funny story, when I felt the need to hop on a KDD juice box to pop it, (you know when you were kids and you wanted to jump so high to pop KDD juice boxes?) well, instead of jumping a couple of centimeters I jumped two kilometers high and ended up drilling my feet into the ground, along with that juice box. By that very moment I figured that I should test other possible abilities; Spiderman had webs, and The Flash could run fast. So it didn’t make any sense to me that camels just jump high. I remembered that camels could only store water and food, so I started drinking water. Sure enough I drank a gallon. To my surprise I only have the ability for super healing, high jumping and gulping water. Why did I land powers like this? WTF kind of hero am I supposed to be?
I went to Party Land to buy myself a costume for when I roam the city at night. I found a Batman suit, which I obviously bought. I must become the proper image of justice- a vengeful symbol- not a camel. I went to Salmiya and thought “well, let’s try this hero shit out!” I put on my Batman suit and left my car at the parking lot near Al Fanar Mall. Some people pointed fingers at me while I was leaving the area to hide. This triggered a serious question, “how on earth did Batman do it?” I mean the city has lights, people thought I’m crazy, or have a kid’s party going on at the McDonald’s across the lot.
I had to make a point, so I jumped on the roof of the Masoni Hotel, obviously missing it by two buildings since I still haven’t gotten the hang of controlling my jump. Where do I start? Everything seemed peaceful till I found a person driving recklessly on the Gulf Road. My cue is up and I had a gut feeling that told me I need to step up. “Let’s do this!” I thought to myself, and hopped on the roof of the car breaking all the windows and squashing the top. Then I jumped off and back to the hotel roof. It all came to me- the camel, the girl crying for help, and Mufasa’s voice. I am Cameltop, wearing a Bat suit, and I will clean this city from the evils of reckless driving, I will prevail. My mission? What the camel’s mission is, what he meant when he voiced, “You’re the chosen one.” Camels have been fighting the war to cross streets for years and reckless drivers kill them off, I’m here to put an end to this, an end to this war. (Jumps off the Masoni roof and and ends up landing inside Prime & Toast.)