Seeds by Nouf

I’m sailing in your large blue sea
Against the waves of your
wants, plans and wishes
The seeds
you planted in your
wary mind for me

I love you,
more strongly
than these waves
can hit this shore
the shore,
where my beginnings found me,
and the place where
I heard my first heart beat.
And saw for the first time,
my heart bleed
It took me only moments
to be under your
cozy clouds
and a second
to be under your cursed rainy ones
The rain I’m drowning under
endlessly it seems.

I sought you
and I did not understand,
how love and hate can coexist inside
when in front of me,
you stand.
My attached self does not understand
that it can never grow real seeds
in your ground
But my guilty heart
sees the potential of growth
and seeks the truth you never admitted
It sits beneath your deep dark eyes
the place where
I let my heart grow it’s seeds
Mixed with the guilt
of me never having to fulfill
the cloudiness
that I once fell for.

And finally, I got to realize that
the love I hold for you,
is like the one I hold for the sea
Still, deep,
but through it, I cannot foresee
something that my eyes
Aren’t used to not reaping
And I’m overwhelmed
with the fact that
God loved me so
to let me forget how to swim.
But I’m more shocked of
the fact that I forgot
Seeds never grow on seas
They never grow on seas
They never do
I’m building new hope instead
And guilt is no longer
My heart’s seeds.

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