Scar by Ali Alshammari

I’ve become my own blade,
not like a personal Wesley Snipes,
anti-social behavior, not one for Wednesday Skypes,
cutting away at the feeling without a physical touch,
That same feeling once a harness holding me up,

lost in myself, up in a head space where I am I own tormentor,
chalk to the membrane wall, a prisoner counting the days with no eyes towards surrender,
I claw at myself like a wolverine with multiple personality disorder,
barriers between relations like the most oppressive of borders,
for every failed attempt at being in the crowd results in a lesion across my cortex,
once content, now a smile is something the muscles of my face won’t flex,
a dimming lust for life, a sense of awareness, seemingly vaccumed inside this vicious vortex,
I’m scarred and I have only myself to blame,
I’ve been around the wrong people who were stunted & remained the same
no personal growth from them and nor from I,
I’m back to square one, where I’m numb no matter how hard I try,
I’m a leech on my environment, I wouldn’t want anything to do with me either,
yet I feel like I’m the better person because I speak into the ether?
a tale of an empty space becoming an allegory for my emotions,
fresh cut across my mind, rivers of pent up anguish turn into a bitter ocean.

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