Superpower by Hawra’a Khalfan

The power
I
want
over anything
over everything else
is to be able to
push myself to
get over her. To 
push myself to kill her. Is it
murder if you’re doing it
for her?
Because you love her?

I’d explain that
she
is the biggest
heartbreak I’ve ever endured
the biggest weakness I have
the biggest source of strength I’ve gained
and the most draining thing in my life.

I’d explain that
she
is the strongest
woman I’ve ever met.
And it’s not fair for us to see her so frail and fragile;
that she’s incapable of even
breathing on her own.
It’s not fair that
her mother, sisters and brothers
have all given up.
But here we are, husband and kids.
Her true kin, watching her fading away slowly
Unable to help her get to her destination.

I’d explain that
she
has given us the
superpower to
live with the weight of
her breathing carcass-
pulling us back
back
and back again
to that hospital
that she’s existing in.

I’d also explain that
we
can’t
keep gravitating to her because
our powers are fading.
We’re turning into shells.
We’ve been drained
of all the love
we could ever possibly have.
We’re losing.

I’d explain
that
it was
self-defense.

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