“It’s hideous from up close”, “It’s a giant silver blob of dust”, “Like an orb of alloy”.
But it was just as beautiful as I imagined it to be.
The shimmering halo was closer to me than ever, gleaming in that pitch black, lonely sky. I could count the infamous and giant craters, surrounded by thousands of tinier ones, with their rims raised high, creating concave hollow pits. That’s where I was going to be standing tall in a few minutes, holding the flag up high while my country watches me with pride. This must be the euphoria that they keep talking about. Few minutes and I will be living my life long dream.
A loud bang struck and so did I into reality.
There I was, driving down the lonely road, afflicted with despair, watching the dense rain pour and the raindrops splat on my cracked windshield just as my thoughts fell on my shattered heart and splattered feelings all over me.
The swift and stormy night was leading me into the pitch black sky, into the dark road, where I saw no hopeful light.
As the loud crack of thunder rumbled across my spine, I saw her sitting across the road. I tried to steal a closer look and I could see the fear in her wide, innocent eyes, yearning for help, the wind blowing across her worried face and the invincible rain getting her all cold and wet. That beautiful soul was clearly lost and didn’t deserve to be.
I approached to her with my arms wide open as she pounced on my lap and rubbed her fluffy fur against me. She looked at me with utter joy and relief, like I was her saviour and I knew that moment that she was going to cherish me forever. But it was the other way round.
Oh, how I wish I was a pair of glasses
so I could see the world through your eyes
How I wish I was a long scarf
So I could wrap myself around you in disguise
How I wish I was a pretty handbag
So you would reach me in need
Here I am, in the middle of this superfluous wheat field, no walls, no isolated corners, no stern nurses, no weeping visitors, no tormented patients, just me, the fresh air, and you, my beautiful canvas. Oh, and those voices too.
You have always been by me when my best muse, someone who I inferred to be my soulmate refused to save me from those four walls, when my brother saw in my eyes the yearning for liberty and inspiration yet left me for those vicious doctors or when my very own audience petitioned to send me to the asylum when I thought I conveyed my sorrow to them through you, dear canvas. Continue reading
What can you do if you fall in love with a person with whom you can start a life only when your life is about to end? What can you do when your heart doesn’t understand the language of law and justice? What can you do if the love of your life is a criminal? Well not just because he stole my heart, but because he was accused of being involved in a murder and looting a bank or two. Continue reading
For the first time in the twenty-nine years of my existence, I could taste freedom in the air that I was breathing. In fact, I could exhale without any hesitation.
As I set the rear-view mirror, I saw the reflection of a presumptuous face. At least for that moment I wasn’t the single burden to my family, the loner who can never spend her life with the non-muslim she fell in love with as her religion doesn’t allow that. I let all these thoughts slip away as I tightened my fingers to the steering wheel and accelerated the speed-o-meter along with my heart-beat. Continue reading
Her mother’s lost smile was back which she longed for
Her brother’s grades now wouldn’t be low,
She bought this happiness which now knocked on their door.
But the price she paid for it, they would never know. Continue reading