Voiceless by Hawra’a Khalfan

She opened her eyes to once again reunite with a world that she feels alien in. She opened her eyes with a suffocating passion towards something she can not control. She opens her eyes to find all the doors she saw in her dreams closed shut.

Forcing her already wrinkled thirty year old face into a smile. This is how I’m going to look all day. She repeated to herself, forcing an even wider smile. She almost climbed out of bed without giving him a kiss.  Continue reading

Jay by Hawra’a Khalfan

“I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, you know?”

“Yes, go on…”

“Laa’- oh my god- I don’t know how to express this. I just woke up feeling like today something is going to change. I didn’t know what, though. It was one of those shuffle shuffle tap tap days, everything was normal, but I wasn’t. My brain wasn’t normal. One of the switches in my head was just turning fluorescent and pounding. You know? So when he yelled “Jassim, your orders are all wrong. What’s going on with you today, is everything okay with you?” That fluorescent switch erupted like Shiveluch on steroids. And I was just like yup – I’m done – that’s it. I’m fed up of all these broken promises to myself to leave this place. I’m fed up of all the maybe’s and the tomorrow’s. I want to feel free.   Continue reading

Terminal by Hawra’a Khalfan

I look up at the fluorescent lights; at the perfectly lined up squares covering the ceiling.  My eyes flirt with the smoke detector, as my mind wanders to a world where I have the health to light up a cigarette, and set it off.  Ironic, isn’t it? That when you can, you justify it.  But when it might possibly be the reason you’re in this mess to begin with; you don’t loathe it- but you loathe yourself for letting it slaughter you.

A smirk creeps onto my face abruptly.  Oh, the amount of people I may never have known if it wasn’t for it.  And as soon as my smirk settled; it fluttered off by her voice.  Continue reading

Seeds by Hawra’a Khalfan

The institute of education is now corrupt,
it has been refashioned
from something that was so pure-
from purely wanting to spread knowledge, and
to influence,
to nurture those who will be brilliant.
The institute of education has now become:
Do the minimum you can, to get a grade, which will tell you how smart you are.
Memorize words without understanding the depth behind them. Continue reading

“We loved with a love that was more than love.” by Hawra’a Khalfan

I feel your loss

I feel it oozing out of your being and devouring you entirely.

My kin,

I know.

Because we,

We loved with a love that was more than love.

Because we,

Donated our hearts, desires, thoughts, and dreams for them.

We surrendered to their tenderness

We surrendered to their compassion

We surrendered to our love for their love and so

we gave it all up to keep them.

It was never going to be enough and we knew that

But it was always worth trying.

Our now hollow bodies have lost both them, and ourselves.

I know how it is

to tell me of your sleepless nights in hospital rooms;

to tell me of your atrophy

And I feel you, blood.

I feel your words echoing on my insides.

I feel you because I too have lost

I too have had to build myself up.

I continue to cement together the atoms that make me up.

Inch upon inch I am now glued together in a mosaic of destruction

just waiting to collapse,

expecting the ultimate defeat.

You speak of his good deeds and

I wish to speak of hers, too.

I mourn for her with her every inhale and exhale.

I mourn for her every time I take a look at her smiling face.

I mourn for her even as she’s mouthing me the words

“I love you.”

Mountain by Hawra’a Khalfan

The first time the police drove me home I was eighteen years old. I couldn’t be at home anymore, I couldn’t breathe in that unswerving state. It didn’t matter how hard I inhaled, I was gasping empty breaths. I carried around a wrinkled old brown bag everywhere with me. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without it. It was an extension to my being. The more wrinkled that bag got, the more I realized that this isn’t it for me. That’s when it all started. That’s when I realized I couldn’t live that life anymore. Continue reading

Waves by Hawra’a Khalfan

Chocolate! Everywhere! For miles all he could see was chocolate, and his eyes bulged out as if they were going to escape their sockets; Kit Kat, Aero, Flake, Galaxy, Milky Way, Bueno, M&M’s, and oh! so many Maltesers. He picked up one of the Maltesers packets, pried it open with his teeth, and raised it up to empty the whole bag into his mouth. Before he could even take a bite, he heard a faint voice calling his name, “Abdulrahman.”  Continue reading

“War is peace; Freedom is slavery; Ignorance is strength” by Hawra’a Khalfan and Quamar Al-Mumin

War is peace.

“Abu Osman, trust me on this- people implode when you control them. It is only human nature,” her mother pleaded as she watched her husband explode with rage. I can’t believe this, I can’t believe this. I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. Is he actually putting up a fight? Seriously? There is no logic behind anything he is saying. What does he mean women shouldn’t drive? ALL women shouldn’t drive? Yeah. Sure.  Like he would be where he is without the women in his life. He is a fucking tyrant. All I want to do is depend on myself. All I want to do is be able to take my life into my own hands. He of all people should realize that. Aggravating little shitty tyrant. Continue reading

Noah by Hawra’a Khalfan

In order to understand this, you must first learn who Noah really is.

You will find it here, and when you see it beside this piece of paper your instinct will tell you to check for a pulse. There won’t be a pulse. You will realize that quickly but you will still reach in and try to find one. Your next instinct will be that of any other “civilized” human being. Like clockwork you will call the government officials to come and rid world of it. This letter will make it easier for them. This letter will do their job for them.  Continue reading

“But Daddy I Love Him” by Hawra’a Khalfan

She looks up at the Grey skies and wishes upon a cloud.

Her mind shuffles through memories of her throughout the years wishing upon multiple stars, she had wished on those spheres of fire with such belief that they would somehow align and help one of her dreams come true. But now she has retired from these useless fire breathing rocks- she knows better than to repeat that series of mistakes again. It took years for her to give up on those stars, and now the clouds are her allies.  Continue reading

Smoke by Hawra’a Khalfan

As soon as I opened the car door, the crisp, dry, cold air slapped my face—triggering me to stand frozen in my place. “Thanks!” I forced a smile, waving goodbye to the cab driver as I stood outside the yellow car. Everything around me was covered in white, and at that moment time did not exist. The only thing that existed is the amount of steps it would take for me to walk indoors. Oh! How I love the way the snowflakes sparkle from afar. I locked my eyes on my target as I took a deep breath of callous oxygen. There it is, the blue building filled with an infinite number of Angels of Death. There it is, the blue building filled with sorrow and regret, where loathing and unconditional love finally meet in an equilibrium. Continue reading